When they called, I quickly bought a plane ticket from Sweden to the US. After that, I drove from South Dakota to North Carolina with my parents. As soon as we got there, tests were every day. At almost every visit, my dad was being poked and prodded. We were all tired every day for those five days. We heard even worse news as our time there was coming to an end. Something was wrong with my dad more than we thought. The harsh truth hit us hard.
Onward to the Hospital
When they called, I quickly bought a plane ticket from Sweden to the US. After that, I drove from South Dakota to North Carolina with my parents. As soon as we got there, tests were every day. At almost every visit, my dad was being poked and prodded. We were all tired every day for those five days. We heard even worse news as our time there was coming to an end. Something was wrong with my dad more than we thought. The harsh truth hit us hard.
The doctor said that getting a lung transplant isn’t a cure and will only cause more problems. Someone else said that he has three clogged arteries and a hole in his stomach that lets gas out. After our time here was up, we had to go see family before going home.
Dealing with Grief Alone Inside
But after getting so much information, I was too much to handle. I kept my cool. I had to do it. In their time of need, my parents needed me to be there for them. We got back to South Dakota, and I stayed with them for months. I read to my dad every morning and checked on him at night because he was having trouble breathing. It hurt my heart every time. He was in more pain than I was, though.
No Peace…
As things got worse for my dad, my sister added a lot of stress to what was already a tough situation. This made everyone’s fear and anxiety levels go through the roof. There were many times when we were crying, and there were many nights when we couldn’t sleep.
After we got back from the trip, it was time for my dad to decide if he wants to go back to hospice care. Hospice is a service that helps people before they die. He reluctantly said yes after giving it a lot of thought for days.
To keep my head from blowing up, I got up every morning and helped my dad make food. It’s been hard to see a loved one start to fall apart. It got harder and harder for him to breathe. He wasn’t able to do as much as he used to. It was hard to do simple things like getting out of bed.
Finally Moving on…
I gave up after two months. It was clear to my parents that I needed to get home. It was clear that they were both very happy and grateful that I was there for such a long time. Even told me to leave and enjoy my life, my dad. That made me feel better, and I no longer felt bad about going.
I felt calm and at ease. The worry has finally gone away. I was able to think straight again. Being at home makes me happy! Sweden, where my husband is from, is my new home country. I have a different view of the stress now that I’m far away from it. Many people I’ve talked to have told me I’m a good daughter because I flew so far to be with them. I feel sad, though, because I have to deal with my loss by myself and wish I could be with my parents.
Having Loved Ones Helps
No matter how bad things are in my life, I know they could always be worse. My dad might be going through this by himself. When things are bad, there’s always something good to look at. My mom was by his side the whole time. He didn’t have to stay in the hospital; he could be with her at home. Being with loved ones made going through sadness by yourself feel less lonely. Still, it’s a new chapter to try to figure out your life without someone. Even more so if they’re your partner. You can get through it, though, with the help of other people. You’ll get back on track and be able to move on in time.
Hard Times Dealing with Grief Alone
Talk to a hurt person or your family if you’re going through loss by yourself. You don’t need to do this by yourself, and you can’t. If that’s what you need, you can join a group. Remember that you have family and friends. Everyone goes through grief.
Pain will go away faster if you don’t pay attention to it.
It will get worse over time if you try to ignore your pain or keep it from coming up. To really get better, you need to face your sadness and do something about it. (Coping with Grief and Loss)